


Inner schoolgirl

by ReaperBelial



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies), Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation
Genre: Action, Feelings, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 23:45:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4542114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReaperBelial/pseuds/ReaperBelial
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Benji realized what Ethan meant to him, the problems begin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just watched Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation and I think in no other movie were Ethan and Benji this close together. Is it just me or was Ethan ready to ignore the rest of the world, just to save Benji's life?  
> The story starts when they go into Ethan's hiding place, right after the opera.

„My name is Benji Dunn and I am in love with one of the most dangerous man on the entire planet!“ were the few words he wrote on his little gray textbook, in the middle of the night. 

It was really the brink of a moment, when he finally realized it. Realized what Ethan Hunt, the most talented spy of the IMF, really meant to him. How many times had he lied to the polygraph in the last weeks, just to keep Ethan safe? How many times had he lied for him before? Then, the tickets for the opera, the flight to Austria and he was so glad to hear that Ethan was alive and that he needed him. Of all people he needed Benji. But then, after all the chaos and Ethan's failed plan, when Benji decided to stay on Ethan's side and not go back to America, he suddenly realized what this man meant to him.

All he could do was shake his head and feel stupid. Of all times, why now? //You´re still such a kid, Benji.// He scolded himself, hoping it would stop the pain inside of him. He didn't know what he was doing. He couldn't sleep. Ethan on the other side of the room seemed to sleep very good. He put the notebook back on the table and started the laptop again. If he couldn't sleep after all, he could be of use at least. He overlooked some of Ethan's files about the men and women who should be dead, but weren't. 

But concentration wasn't possible for more than a few minutes. He couldn't stop thinking about him. “Damn!” he shouted to himself, looking to Ethan in hope he had not woken him. He tore his hair and reclined in his seat. “You´re like a little schoolgirl...” he murmured, as he started thinking about if Ethan liked schoolgirl uniforms. He never talked about something like that with Ethan. Did he have any preferences whether his bed-mates where male or female? He knew Ethan for many years now, but that was something, he never knew about the IMF agent.

Again he shook his head, got up and walked to the refrigerator to get something to drink. When he got himself a tin of fanta , his thoughts again wandered in a certain direction. How would it be if Ethan had the first sip of it and then gave it to Benji? “Schoolgirl, bad schoolgirl, bad!” he shouted again. He took a deep draw from the fanta and took a deep breath afterwards. This night was terrible. He began to feel like he was in his teens again. He needed some fresh air!

The next morning, when Ethan woke up, Benji was on the laptop again. Ethan sat up and stretched. “Morning Benji, were you up all night?” asked he sleepily. “Yeah, something like that!” was the short answer from Benji, but he didn't turn around. Ethan stood up and walked to the bath. Benji needed all his concentration, to not look at him and not behave like the schoolgirl he was. Normally he would laugh about something stupid like that, but for now, he wanted to avert himself from behaving like a complete idiot, nearby Ethan.

//Calm down. It's only Ethan. You know him, you know him well. Everything's fine. He will love you, even if you're a little schoolgirl. Everyone loves schoolgirls. Everyone.// His laptop made a funny peeping sound. “Damn!” Ethan looked out of the bathroom, shirtless, with wet hair. “Everything alright?” He asked. Benji made the mistake to look at him and stared for several seconds, open mouthed. “What?” Asked Ethan again. Then Benji realized and shook his head. “Schoolgirl...hrrm...nothing, everything ok, fine, yeah!” Again he was focusing himself on the laptop screen.

Ethan came out of the bathroom, without a shirt. “Schoolgirl? What were you doing? Surfing on interesting sites?” He chuckled and got back to his seat. The technician screwed up his eyes. //Wonderful, now he thinks that's all you do at night...// “Nope, not really. I checked your files and I think I found one thing or the other.” Again, he didn't turn around and spoke to the laptop more than to Ethan.

Finally Benji took a deep breath and turned to Ethan. “Would you consider for a moment, what it will do to me, if you run around, without a shirt? Ok? Thanks.” Then he turned back to his laptop.

The IMF agent was really confused for a moment, then he got up and walked over to Benji. “What? You get jealous?” “Maybe. Even if I like the view.” was Benji's answer. //You walking on thin ice there, schoolgirl.// “I had a nice view yesterday evening.” Ethan stood right behind him. “What's that again?” He really tried to focus on the pictures on the screen. “You really look nice in a tux!”

The technician could sense how his cheeks went red. “Stop that already, you mocking me!” “No, I mean it!” What was he trying? To test Benji's limits? To really mock him? A hand came over his shoulder and shut the laptop. “You should really get a break, you look terrible!” 

Ethan leaned over him to look him in the face. “When did you last get enough sleep?” Benji forced a grin at him. “Now, your mocking me!” He stood up and walked over to the bed. “Ok, you get me, I go to sleep!” Then he fell into it and closed his eyes, in hopes not to dream of Ethan.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan has some problem's too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to thank the guys who gave me so damn much kudos in such short time!  
> So here is the next part.  
> I don't really know how many I will make, but as long as I have ideas, i will continue.  
> Hope you like it :)

It was late in the morning as Ethan sat in front of the laptop. His mind was full of things. Ilsa, the stick, the power plant in Marocco and Benji. In a way he was glad that Benji was here but on the other hand he was worried. Why couldn't he do this things alone? Why must he drag him in every single time? //You're hopeless, Hunt...// Yeah, that would be what Brandt would say. 

The real problem that Ethan had with these things, was that he saw all of them as friends. Especially Benji. He knew he shouldn't be this sentimental, but there was a piece of him, who wanted someone on his side. 

After he left his wife behind, there was a hole within him and this feeling dragged him in deeper and deeper. He stood up and walked over to the sleeping Benji. Carefully he stroked a strand of Benji's hair out of his face. He couldn't deny that Benji was special to him. Another reason he chose always him, when he was in need of help. He trusted him and maybe he could be more then only a friend.

Ethan turned away. He knew he had such thoughts one time or the other, but he couldn't ignore them any longer. The only thing that held him back, was that he didn't know what Benji was thinking. He had to do something about it. Holding it back any longer wouldn't help.

He walked again to Benji and sat down near the bed, as he remembered something about sleeping people. If you whisper something in the ear of a sleeping person, this person would dream of what you had said to them. So Ethan tried. “Benji, do you want me?” he whispered seductively in his ear. If his assumption was right, then all he needed to do was wait and see how Benji reacted.

And really, it worked. The technician's face shaped into a confused look and he murmured something that sounded like 'Ethan' to the black-haired man. After a few minutes he began to roll over and make quiet noises. For Ethan, he was a really nice sight. His hair was a mess, his shirt was barely were it should be and because the blanket was long gone he got a glimpse on Benji's short's. 

“Black suits you in every way.” Ethan whispered more to himself as to Benji. But that was his cue and Benji opened his eyes. First sleepily, than a little shocked. “What are you doing?” Really confused he sat up and looked at Ethan. “Are you staring at me the whole time?”

The IMF agent looked a little disappointed, but then he lifted his arms and shook his head. “You sounded not so well, so I wanted to check on you. Are you alright?” Now Benji was embarrassed for acting weird. “Oh...no, it's ok. I'm alright.” He run his fingers through his own hair and again had problem's not looking at Ethan.

He sat there in a muscle shirt, baggy sweats and looked like he had been running a lot. Why was it that sloppy clothes and a little bit of sweat on his skin and his hair, made him so goddamn sexy? It was Ethan Hunt, something that Benji forgot from time to time.

All Ethan wanted, was to pull Benji towards him and kiss him passionately. It would stop the pain and it would stop the worrying. He was sure about that.

All Benji wanted, was Ethan to stop looking this sexy, so his inner schoolgirl would finally calm down. But the schoolgirl wanted to be romantic, to jump into Ethan's arms and say something girly like 'Kiss me my prince'. 

The technician feared getting red again, but he sensed it. It was too late. He sat there on the bed, awkwardly, with red face, again, in hope Ethan wouldn't notice.

Oh and how he noticed. Why was Benji so red from one second to the other? “Are you really alright?” He asked again. Benji swallowed. “You remember what I said about your look and what it does to me, do you?” Then Ethan understood. Yeah, he had asked Benji if he was jealous. Could it be he meant what he said? About that he liked the view?

No time for more thoughts about could be's and could not's. The black-haired came onto the bed, pulled Benji towards him, put one hand on his neck and kissed him without warning. Benji's mind went blank. What was he doing? Was this even real? He must be dreaming, but he liked it. Careful he put his arms around Ethan's neck and gave in.

When Ethan broke the kiss after a while, Benji held his eyes closed and whispered. “Don't wake me please...” “From what should I wake you? You are awake I think.” chuckled Ethan. He was amused how the other man clung to him. With one arm he grabbed Benji's legs and placed him on his lap.

The blonde clung onto Ethan and didn't know how to react. He realized he was really awake. The embrace of the other agent was very nice and surprisingly gentle. Benji had never felt this safe. “Now it's feeling better...” Ethan was whispering. He had his eyes closed and was fully concentrated on Benji's touch. His breath, his warmth. Everything he couldn't get as long as he was alone.

“Ethan?” Benji broke the silence. “What are we doing?” His eyes opened and he looked at Benji's. “I'm doing what I should have done a long time ago. I don't know what you're doing there. But you have no reason to be frightened or something like that.” The technician eased a little bit. “I...I don't know how I should feel about that...I mean I never estimated you doing such a thing...I I...even to me....I mean...” “Shhh...” Ethan put a finger on Benji's lips. “I know now how you feel and I hope you don't change your mind. It's ok now. I know now why you wanted to stay by my side and I WANT you to stay by my side.”

For the first time since an eternity, Benji Dunn was smiling a real smile, because the one he loved didn't send him away. Instead he carried him in his arms and didn't act as if he let him go ever again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They follow Ilsa and Benji'is getting more angry than ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you for so many hits and kudos!  
> I didn't expect the ficto be this popular.  
> So here is the next part, I hope you like it too ^^

In the morning of the next day they took everything for their next step. Their next aim was Ilsa. As she left them a stick with information about a power plant in morocco, they finally sat in the car. Benji was nervous, he didn't like the plan to find Ilsa. She was a dangerous woman and she had tried to kill him. She had fucking tried to shoot him and Ethan wanted to find her again.  
He had talked with him, but he wasn't diverting from it. So Ethan was driving and Benji was handling the navigation. “So, what are you trying to do again, when we arrive?” “I thought we talked that over? I want to know what's with that data she gave us!” Ethan was slightly unnerved. He could understand that Benji didn't like her, but he had agreed to follow him.

“Right...there's still something I wanted to mention, before you fall again in the hands of some women...” “Benji.” “...who in fact, except that you can be really useful for some things...” “Benji.” “...wants probably nothing but you in her too large bed...” “Benji!” “I'm jealous!” “You're jealous?” “Yes, I am...I'm fucking jealous...” Benji slipped in his seat and felt horrible.

“You know that's not a good habit for the mission?” “This whole situation isn't good for the mission, damn!” Ethan sighed and looked in the rear-view mirror. Luckily their was nobody on the road with them, so Ethan hit the break and brought the car to stop. As Benji looked confused at him, he reached over to him and kissed him. “I would never let you down for a women. I really love you, that was no lie. But I also want this mission to come to an end. This has nothing to do with leaving you alone! Can you trust me with that?”

Again Benji felt horrible for making Ethan worrying so much about him. But he also felt better now. “Yeah, I think I can...It's just...” He whispered. “Yeah, I know, your frightened. But even if your frightened, you overcome your fear and stay by me side. That's your real strength you know?” He looked Benji in the eyes to make him believe. “And do you really think I'm not frightened? I'm just a human you know.” “ That's also something I forget from time to time.”

Benji moved in his seat and Ethan drove on. For a few minutes, they both were silent. “We should stay in a hotel for the night, can you look for something?” Ethan was breaking the silence. “Ah yes, of course!” Benji got his laptop from the back seat and began searching. Ethan loved it if Benji was spacing out and got interrupted. Anytime he interrupted him, he had this really confused look on his face, as if he didn't know were he was or what he was doing. He liked it if he could bring his partner out of concept. But he also loved him for his dependence no matter what.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The way to morocco was long and Ethan wasn't a friend of many breaks. Most of the time they were in the car and only made breaks for the toilet or for sleep. Most of time Benji was glad when he could sleep. There were so many things he wanted to do with Ethan, but mostly it lasted with a kiss and cuddling in the night.

Finally they arrived a little city in morocco and searched there for Ilsa's whereabouts. After doing mission's for while he had realized that the man wasn't really good at masking his looks. Again Ethan should not disappoint him, because Benji looked like a standard tourist. As for Ethan, he looked a business men who lost its way. He could only shake his head, because he knew Ethan wouldn't understand. But what bothered him far more, was that Ethan looked again too damn good in this suit.

After half an hour they found the house Ilsa mentioned in her data and Ilsa herself in the swimming pool. What a look. They came and she already coquetted in front of Ethan. Benji tried to not look angry and reminded himself of his training. He wasn't quite able to control his feelings, but he was able to control his face, so he was silent as they walked in and Ethan talked with Ilsa.

He hated it how near she came to him. But Ethan was really clear with what he said. Every time she was to offensive he pushed her hand away or slid back. That was something that made Benji really glad and gave him back a piece of trust.  
So the plan was simple, or not. As often as Ilsa mentioned it was impossible, Benji was certain Ethan would make it possible. But something was fishy. He couldn't say what, but his gut feeling wasn't good at all.

Finally they decided that Benji was the one going in and steal the data, as for Ethan, he would swim to the secure underwater server and guarantee that Benji would be safe. The technician knew Ethan could make it, but it really was unnerving.

As he got behind the first security check, he knew Ethan had 3 minutes to swin in, change the profile for him to walk through the last security check up and come out again. He hoped only that Ilsa was able to stop the flooding long enough for Ethan to make it. He had no other choice as to go on and take the elevator to finally arrive at the door-code section.

His hands were a little bit shaky and he must use his full concentration, to not look around and be conspicuous. In the meantime Ethan used his full concentration to calm down as well. He wasn't less nervous, because if he failed, he would never see Benji again. All that made the mission even more difficult, but both of them moved on, like the professionals they were.

As Benji walked in to the movement secure system, he felt like his heart must be heard a mile away. But he was feeling relieved as nothing happened and he could finally get the data. So everything went fine, Ethan must be alright and safe.

Glad as he was, the technician left the power plant as fast as he could, to get back to Ethan and Ilsa. But what he was looking at, made his heart go down his boots. Ethan was lying on the ground and Ilsa had a defibrillator in her hands. “What the hell happened?” In an instant he was on Ethan's side and sat down beneath him. “Hey, what's wrong?” Ethan's sight was blurry. “Benji.” He murmured. “Yes, Benji, I'm here! And look what I got!” He held the stick in front of him. “We made it!” The next thing Benji knew, was a pain in his back.

As Ethan was coming around again and saw Benji lying on the ground and unconscious, he was shocked. Wasn't he in the water a moment ago? He crawled over to Benji and looked at him. His face was twisted in pain, but he seemed to come around again. Ethan got up and pulled Benji on his feet and against the wall so he could stand. “Are you alright?” He asked shakily. “Yes.” answered Benji with clenched teeth and strained eyes. “That bitch!”

“Don't do that again! Never leave your back open!” Ethan said hastily and kissed Benji passionately. “Can you walk?” “Oh yes, I can!” Came it from Benji angrily and both of them stumbled to the exit.

As they arrived at the street Ethan saw Ilsa on the motorcycle, ran to the next car and they started the chase. Benji was really not sure how this would have a good end. Ethan half comatose behind the wheel of the car, himself still in pain from the shock. Of all the times he sat in a car, he thought that now was the time to think about the seat belt. First he strapped Ethan, ignoring that he already was driving and after that he strapped himself with horror for the coming.

When they chased after her Benji's gut feeling was getting worse, but they had to stop her. He was really worried about Ethan's condition and the fact how he was driving, but what choice did he have? It was a relief as they stopped for a moment and he saw Brandt and Luther in another car. Finally they weren't alone!

Ethan didn't have time to concentrate on them and raced on. In the end it came to what Benji had feared. He crushed the car in the most Ethan Hunt way he could imagine and he had a feeling as if his entire life would flash before him. After seconds of being unconscious, he was again relieved to see Brandt's face. “Oh god, it's over...” He murmured, looking to Ethan. But the IMF agent wasn't really aware of his surroundings. All he cared for at the moment was Ilsa. As Brandt had freed him from the car, he again stumbled to next thing he could chase her with. The motorcycle of one of her pursuers. 

When Benji came out of the car and saw Ethan driving away on the motorcycle he cursed. “Damn it, Ethan!” Brandt came over and put a hand on his shoulder. “It's alright we follow him, no time for discussion now!” Benji looked at him furiously. “You can bet on that, but it's better you drive before I crush the next car!”

It took a while to find Ethan, but finally they located him on a mountain road. Benji jumped out of the car and ran to him. He had crashed from the motorcycle and Ilsa was nowhere to see. “Are you alright? What the hell did you do? Was that really necessary?” But Ethan fainted again and Benji wasn't sure if he had heard him. He concentrated on not getting angry again, but he was so damn angry, when not at Ethan then at Ilsa.

Again Brandt approached him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Calm down. We take care of him.” The technician pushed his hand away and looked up. “There's nothing to calm down for. He was already dead and now he did such a stunt, only to let her get away!” Luther and Brandt swapped a look. “Let us discuss this later. First we should get away from here.” As Luther lifted Ethan from the ground and carried him to the car, Benji attempted to get his breath back. “Sorry. I know...I know, this is not the right time...” 

He got up and walked slowly to the car. Now he realized what it meant to be in love with someone like Ethan. He felt the pain and the sorrow. The one man he loved could die every day, every minute and it felt like it would tear him apart. But this was the way he choose, his own way and there was no return. Anything he could do now, was to help Ethan to live and that should be something, it would be Benji's life task. If he couldn't be of use in any way, he would provide that Ethan lived.

William Brandt stood there and looked at Benji's back. He had got to know him as cheerful but serious man, that helped him and the others with many things. Always he acted like a person with real good mood and was rarely in a bad mood. But now he saw a man, who had seen terror and didn't know how to handle it. It reminded him of his own time as an agent. Some things you must learn really fast, all ahead to put your feelings down and focus on the mission. Whatever Benji had seen, it changed him, in a way William wasn't sure it was good for him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benji nearly lost Ethan, but how does Ethan feel about it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to London then. I will make this a little bit quickly, so we get to the real interesting stuff.

Finally they found a hideout and Luther was looking after Ethan and put him on a mattress. He putt off his damaged clothes and looked for injuries.  
On the other side of the room Benji was explaining their situation to Brandt. They found a hideout, they were save for the moment and Benji was nearly breaking down. He sat on the floor and stuttered to Brandt in hope he would get the situation.  
“...and then she sat there beneath Ethan who was barely coming around...I..I lost it...I'm sorry...I-I was useless I shouldn't have showed the stick to Ethan! She knocked me out with that damn defibrillator, that bitch! I-I...” Brandt put his hand's on Benji's shoulders and looked at him, as Benji hid his face in his hands. “Calm down!” “But I-” “Calm down already! It's ok. What's with the stick? Did she get him?” Benji took a deep breath. “Yeah, she got him. But I have a copy.”  
As Benji looked at him again Brandt put away his hands and sat down before him. “Good.” “Nothing's good!” “Yeah, but we have what she has!” Began the Analyst calmly. “So we can make another plan. What can she do with that data? Did you look at it?” Finally Benji seemed to calm down a little and shook his head. “No.” “Then do that first! Luther will look after Ethan, so he will be ok. In the meantime, we will do the rest.”  
Brandt stood up and pulled Benji with him. The technician knew that it would be meaningless to just sit there and complain about everything. So he walked to the laptop that Brandt had brought and put the stick in it.  
William walked over to Luther who had dressed Ethan in some neat clothes. “How is he?” He asked. The big man looked up at him. “I think I must thank you. You were right, he really needs us!” Looking at the IMF agent, as he lay there unconscious and full of bruises, made William uncomfortable. “But he will be ok, nothing's broken, just some bruises and some grazes. Nothing really bad.”  
-*-  
After two hours Ethan woke up and tried to remember how he came to the room he was in. As he sat up and looked around, he recognized Luther and Brandt who were quietly talking. Benji was sitting on a laptop and looked really stressed.  
Carefully he stood up and walked over to the others as Luther looked up. “Feeling better super hero?” He grinned wide. Brandt just lifted a hand to say “Hi”, but Benji looked destroyed. He must be a terrible sight and he wished he could stop his worries. But now was not the time for such things, as likely as he wanted to go and put Benji into his arms to calm him and say him that he would be alright, he didn't.  
Instead he sat down on the chair right before Benji and looked him in the eyes. “Please, tell me you have a copy of that stick!” The technician was hurt by Ethan's direct question about that damn stick. No “I'm alright.”, no “Don't worry.”, nothing. He knew that there were things more important right know, but it really hurt him. Proud as he was, he swallowed his anger and showed Ethan the copy stick. “Of course I have a copy.” He forced himself to smile.  
Now he felt it again. The schoolgirl within him was crying rivers and lamenting how cruel and bad Ethan was. All these things he wanted to say to Ethan right now, the little girl spit them out like a machine gun. After a few minutes Benji didn't know what bothered him more, Ethan's behavior or his feelings that manifested again in the form of a little angry girl.  
Ethan exhaled, relieved. “Did you check it?” “Yeah, but I can't read it.” “Why?” Ethan asked wondering. “Because it's a red box!” Benji hunched his shoulders and Brandt looked a little confused. “A red box?” Luther took the word. “It's something the Britain's use to encrypt something.” “It's basically a three-way encryption.” Put Benji on. “And how do we open it?” Ethan asked. Luther looked serious. “It needs the fingerprints, a retina scan and a voice record of a certain person.”  
“The prime minister of Great Britain.” Ethan murmured. “Lane wants to kidnap him to get the data!” This time it was Brandt who got nervous. “We must inform them immediately!” He said as he took out his phone. “No!” Ethan stopped him. “But-” “No! I know him!” The IMF agent stood up. “If he wants something to happen, then it will happen!” “What do you suggest then?” Brandt was angry about Ethan's insult. Again he thought that Ethan was to careless. But as he looked at Ethan it got worse. “Oh no, Ethan no!” “We will kidnap the prime minister.”  
As they continued fighting over how stupid and how right this decision was, Benji laid his head on the desk and was trying not to freak out. There was this stupid stick, with data on it that could maybe blast the syndicate. But to get this data, you needed the help of the premier minister himself. Additional the IMF was no longer existent and therefore they shouldn't do anything.  
Because Brandt and Ethan didn't stop fighting, he decided to go out and get some fresh air. It was already dark outside, but the cool air was relieving. Luther had followed him. “Let them fight. In 30 minutes we will do what Ethan wants yet.” “I know.” Benji said real quiet. “There's more that bothers you, isn't it?” The technician looked to the ground. “Yeah, but I didn't think that it belongs here.” “You did it for him, did you?” Confused Benji looked up at him. “Yeah, I think so...but is that really a bad thing?” “No, it's not. Ethan needs friend's he can rely on.”  
-*-  
Luther was right. After exactly 30 minutes they had decided, to go back to London as fast as possible. As Brandt and Luther were outside to make preparations and get the car, Benji reached for Ethan's arm. As the black-haired stopped and looked at him, with these wonderful blue eyes, Benji didn't look at him. “You were dead...” He whispered. Ethan was torn between the wish to make Benji better and go outside as soon as possible. But then he decided that Benji deserved that he was there for him.  
Ethan put his arms around the technician and pulled him tighter to himself. “It's ok, I'm here.” He whispered back. Benji crawled into the embrace and put his arms around Ethan. “I'm sorry, I couldn't...” “It's not your fault.” As he held him, Ethan realized again, how much fear he had himself of losing Benji. He kissed his hair and began to rock him slowly in his arms. Benji felt a single tear running down his cheek. It was quiet in the room and nobody seemed to care for them.  
As Ethan saw the tear on Benji's face, he wiped it away whit his thumb carefully. Then he reached for a kiss, but he didn't loose the embrace. As he felt Ethan's lips on his and the warm embrace around his body, Benji thought the world was whole again. Anything could happen now, as long as Ethan didn't let go. Ethan intensified the kiss and pushed his tongue carefully in Benji's mouth. The technician gladly agreed and deepened the kiss as well.  
What both of them didn't realize, was that William approached the room and silently stopped as he saw the both of them. Entangled and passionately kissing. He turned his heel and walked out again silently. As he stopped by Luther, the big man gave him a curious look. “And?” “I think they need a little bit longer.” “Why?” William adjusted his cravat. “They're having a moment.” Luther looked first confused, but then he rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that's Ethan then...”  
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Because Luther had tracked her down, they could find Ilsa relatively fast. William, Luther and Benji had all positioned around her and Ethan. All of them listened subtle as Ethan talked to her. But at one point, Benji nearly left his position.

Ilsa started her seductive attitude again and leaned over to Ethan. “You know, we could go. Only you and me, nobody would find us.” Ethan looked confused, but Benji was furious, so much could William see from his position. He hoped that his colleague would keep his nerves, but Benji didn't. The blonde reached out and hit a lamppost with his foot. Luther was covering his eyes for a moment and William leaned his head against the wall he was standing.

This was finally the moment, Benji agreed totally with his schoolgirl. She wanted to kill Ilsa, he wanted it too. But a kill, on a train station, with more then 100 people as witnesses, that wasn't a great plan. He knew he was really unprofessional with that, but he had warned Ethan about his jealousy. He needed a moment, to turn around and look back at Ethan. Then he noticed the looks he got from the people around him. “It's alright! I don't do it again. I'm sorry!” He murmured and stood still again.

Ethan didn't realize what Benji had done, because he wasn't sure if Ilsa had made a real bad joke or if she really tried to make him run away with her. It was real a dumb idea for her being serious. Could she really think this would work? He was Ethan fucking Hunt! He fell for a woman one or the other time, but he was an agent long enough, to not fall for something like that.

Then it happened. Two real big hands grabbed Benji from behind. It was to fast for him to react and the man behind him had put a sheet over his mouth. He tried not the breath and struggled. Why did nobody around him react? He was beginning losing consciousness. Of all things, why must this happen to him? Now he really was the damsel in distress and that was all he could think about before his legs gave in and his sight went black.


	5. Chapter 5

Benji was gone. Again Ethan had lost someone very important to him. He stared along the parking area were they had missed them just seconds ago. How had he been this careless? Why didn't he take a better look on Benji? He started telling himself that it was his fault over and over again as his cellphone rang. The number was unknown but he knew exactly who it was.

He pushed the button and held the phone to his ear without saying anything for a moment. Then he asked, “What do you want?”

Brandt and Luther were standing there and staring at Ethan. The shorter one gave Luther a knowing look and nodded. There wasn't more communication needed. This was something they both learned on the way of finding Ethan. They needed no words if it was about Ethan. But not only that, the whole trip let them to trust each other a little more.

As Ethan put the phone aside, Brandt did a step in his direction. “What did he say?” Ethan looked terrible, he couldn't hide his affectivity any longer. He really looked as if he wanted to cry. “He wants the data. Tonight! If not, Benji is dead!” After the last words, the IMF agent turned and didn't look at his comrades. “But you know what that means! Ethan do you really wanna-” “We will save Benji!Did you hear me? We will NOT desert him!”

Neither Brandt nor Luther said a word. So it was decided then. They would kidnap the prime minister in order to safe a comrade. But not just a comrade, but a friend and at the moment the one person Ethan wasn't willing to sacrifice for such a dumb game.

~*~

As Benji came around his hands and feet were tied to a chair. Instinctively he pulled on them only to recognize how strong they were. Right before him was Solomon Lane. Again he felt the anger within him, but he didn't want to give him this satisfaction and acted quiet. Lane held a cellphone to his ear and he heard him speaking. About the trade and how Ethan should bring him the data on the stick so that Benji would be safe and sound.

He couldn't stand that man and how he played with people's life's. It was disgusting. But Benji himself couldn't do much about the situation right now. As Lane was finishing phoning he walked over to Benji to speak to him. A little bit to close for Benji being comfortable. “So, what was your name again?” He asked, his face this near Benji's that he could almost feel his breath.

“Why should I tell you, if you not even know that much?” Benji answered really disgusted. Lane smiled, what made him look even uglier as he was already and walked back to his desk. “Nice try. But we know that Mr. Hunt called you Benji. Ilsa mentioned it.” Benji nodded and pulled down the corner's of his mouth. “Yeah, there are not so many Benji's out there.”

Immediately Lane came back to him and grabbed Benji's forearms. “Don't mock me! Do you know in what situation you are?” He asked angrily. Benji stared at him. Everything he wanted right now, was that Lane got away from him. He didn't like his look and his breath smelled a little bit to much of alcohol. “I didn't know that a women like Ilsa could have a thing for a man like you.” The technician answered with light amusement.

That was it. The little bit to much for Lane. He grabbed the chair and tripped him over. Benji fell with the chair bound to him and hit the floor. “Ow, I think I hit me head...” he mumbled. “Mind your words!” Lane yelled at him. “It doesn't matter who you are! If Hunt misses you, even better! I have him were I wanted him and I.WILL.GET.WHAT. I. WANT!”

Benji really was impressed by so much power in such a small body. Right now even Lane's hair was out of place, so he looked even angrier if not mad. About one thing Benji was sure. He had found his sore point. “Why have I decided to play with the good guys again?” The technician tried to get a little bit more comfortable but failed terribly. One of Lane's man put him in an upright position as Lane himself walked up and down the room. “Oh yeah, I know, because they don't hit people normally...” 

“Thinking your funny, hm?” Again Lane came over to him and Benji hoped that would be not this near again. “Enjoy your time until midnight. It's the rest of your life!” He hated being useless but he didn't have another option at the moment. “So, you're not thinking that Ethan will make it in time?” Lane grinned wide. “I said it already, I have him were I want him. He has no choice but to do as I say.”  
“I'm not sure if he will come. It's better for him to leave me behind and destroy the data.” “You think, he would abandon you? Interesting...” Benji didn't know if Lane tried to tease him in the same way he did with him or if he meant what he said. “You really don`t know Ethan do you?” Benji played high, but it was worth it. “Oh, I know Mr. Hunt well enough.” Lane walked a step away triumphantly. “So far he has done anything I wanted. He is just to sentimental about the people near him!” “And what about you? You`re wife must be really sad about the fact how obsessed you`re with Ethan.” Lane looked dangerous at him. But this time he nodded in the direction of somebody right behind Benji.

As he tried a look, Benji looked in the face of somebody Ethan had mentioned right in the beginning. It was the face of Jannick Winter and he remembered for what he was known reluctantly. The bonedoctor came around and his first move was to hit Benji really hard in the gut. “Enough now. Prepare him!” ordered Lane. Benji felt terrible. He couldn't remember when the last time was he copped such a hit. For now he was really glad that was able not to puke even if he wanted to really bad right now.

Jannick Winter straightened him up and began to strap a little device around his chest. Benji didn't resist anymore and tried to get some air. Solomon Lane had left the room and he was alone with Winter and another of Lane's subordinates. He felt like his stomach wanted to creep out of him. And if his stomach should manage it, Benji hoped that he would jump right in Solomon Lane's ugly face.

~*~

It was really late that evening, but Ethan and his comrades had somehow managed to get near the prime minister. Ethan himself was covered up as Chief Adley. Brandt on the other hand had Hunley at his side and Luther was in back-up to decipher the data.

His thoughts wandered to Benji every minute and it was really hard for him to focus. But if he shouldn't make it, then he would lose Benji forever. He remembered some of Brandt's word's. //You're not the same you were when you were with your wife. You've changed and you can make it! I believe in you...so try to believe in yourself this time!// Somehow it calmed him a little down. Brandt wasn't entirely agreeing with Ethan's plan, but he helped him nevertheless. He had friend's like him and Luther by his side. It must be possible to make it. For him. For Benji.

All he could hope for, was that Benji would forgive him for his mistakes.

~*~

It was time. Ethan would come to save him. Benji sat with Ilsa on a table right before a restaurant. Around his chest was the timer for a bomb and if Ethan was to late it would explode. Never in his life was he this terrified, but he had to trust Ethan. The real unnerving fact was, that he couldn't talk to Ethan, because Lane used a device in his ear to speak through him with Ethan.

As the agent arrived at the table, all he could do was stare at him. Ethan took a look into Benji's jacket and stared in shock for a moment. “Careful!” said Ilsa and showed him her weapon as he looked at hear. Then Lane spoke with Benji's voice. “Careful Mr. Hunt. You're friend is sitting on a very sensitive pressure trigger!” Ethan hated that sight. The timer on Benji's chest, Lane speaking with Benji's voice. It made him furious but he conserved his mimic and played uninterested.

Ethan took the chair right in front of Benji and began speaking. “I have what you want! Now let Benji go!” The timer was ruthless but Ethan wouldn't do anything if Lane didn't let Banji go. 

2:45

“Oh Mr. Hunt. I have you right were I wanted you. You play my game right as I planned. Every time! So where is the disk?” Ethan stared at Benji, focusing the little lens in his left eye as if he would stare right in Lane's eyes. “Yes, I played your game. But you didn't play alone either. You needed help! You needed money. And all of that is right before you! You want to know where the stick is? It is right in front of you I am the stick!” Benji really loved Ethan, but this was one of this moment's he couldn't believe the agent tried something so dumb. Did he really believe Lane would take it?

1:50

Lane didn't answer for a moment and Ethan took advantage of that. “If you want the data, you need me! I remembered all of the bank accounts and destroyed the disk. You want proof? Here you have it.” He wrote down a bank account on a napkin and showed it Benji. “I give you 15 Million dollars. Let Benji go! You need me if you want the rest of the data. If he dies, we all die! No me, no data!”  
Benji couldn't believe his ears. Wanted Ethan really to die for him? He wanted him alive or to die with him? He wasn't sure if he was right, but if he was, Ethan couldn't prove him more what he was for him.

0:59

“You're totally insane, you know that? This is me speaking not him!” Benji said and stared in shock at Ethan. Nearly unnoticeable Ethan nodded. “Lane!” he said with emphasis. Benji closed his eyes, he couldn't stand Ethan's look anymore. Just a moment he wondered if he should send a quick prayer. Then he heard Ethan again. “Lane!”

0:25

0:24

Lane on the other side was in two minds. He couldn't stand that Ethan had the upper hand.

0:23

He had cheated, of course!

0:22

That was the only conclusion!

0:21

He had betrayed him!

0:20

0:19

Finally Lane stopped the timer.

“Let Benji go!” Ethan said again. Lane was grinding his teeth, but then he began. “7,4,5...” Immediately Benji began to type in the numbers and get rid of the bomb. He was relieved like never before. Ethan gave him a phone looked him in the eyes one last time and said “Go!” All his eyes were saying was “I am glad your safe!” He was at least just as stressed out as Benji was. The technician nodded, took the phone and rushed out of the place.

His heart was racing. He cared about Ethan, but all he wanted was leaving this place. As he went far away, he took the phone and called. Brandt was on the other side. “It's Benji, where do I have to go?” Without more asking he followed Brandt's instruction's. He felt still terrible, but he didn't want to break down, not now.

It took him just a few minutes to find Brandt and Luther. Both of them looked relieved to see him. “Benji! Are you alright?” Brandt came in his direction. “Do I look like I am ok?” Brandt shook his head and for the first time he was really near. All Benji felt was Brandt's real tight embrace. No matter how often they weren't of the same opinion, right now it was exactly what Benji needed. He returned the embrace and both were standing like that for a few minutes. As Benji looked over Brandt's shoulder he could see Luther smiling.

“I don't want to interrupt your moment, but we have things to do!” came it from the big man. Brandt careful let go of Benji and looked at him. “You ok?” “Yeah, for now I think. Thank you!” Then Benji looked at Luther. “What is the plan?” “Capture Lane of course!” And he smiled only brighter.

~*~

After Benji was gone, the chase began. Ethan was really astonished how good he and Ilsa worked together. At first he was thinking that she was after him, because she wanted him as a man. But now he was just glad that she was on his side. After all of Ilsa's bullets were shot, they split up and the real run began.

Ethan was fast even if he was exhausted from the latest events. He would lure Lane out of his hiding-place and he shouldn't wait any longer. As he came to the street again, he could see an all too familiar silhouette. Lane came himself to get what he wanted. Ethan must have really made him mad.

As he begun running again, Lane followed his every step, just to fall for the trap, Ethan had set for him. The IMF agent jumped into a hole in the ground. For a moment he played the wounded and Lane just fell for it. Ethan on the ground, exhausted and defenseless. That was what he wanted even more as the data at the moment and Ethan had predicted that. Lane followed him and was immediately trapped in a glass chamber.

“Gentlemen, this is Solomon Lane.” said Ethan as he stood up and looked to the others. Out of the shadows came Benji, Brandt, Luther and Ilsa. Lane's look was pure hatred. He began to shot the glass multiple times only to realize that it wouldn't break nor hurt Ethan. The chamber was closed at the top and Benji released a gas inside, so that Lane would become unconscious. 

Nothing was more satisfying this night as to upset this chamber with Lane in it and Ethan enjoyed the satisfaction. Brandt and Luther occupied the chamber and Ethan went to Ilsa. “You were not bad tonight!” “You too!” She answered. A moment they felt both a little bit uncomfortable, but then Ilsa embraced Ethan. He returned the embrace but led her go really fast. “You know how to find me!” With this word's she went to her car and drove away.

Ethan had waited for everything, but not for this.

Behind the truck Brandt and Luther loaded the glass chamber, Benji was waiting. He looked a little lost but he seemed not hurt badly. “Benji.” Ethan stood a little doubtful right before him. “I was scared.” Benji admitted. “I know. I am truly sorry!” Ethan lowered his eyes. Benji looked away. “And how do you plan to make up for it?”

After that Ethan doesn't hesitate anymore. He walked over to Benji and pulled him into his Arms. One arm around his waist and one hand behind his head. Benji wound his arms around Ethan's neck and felt save again. Every time Ethan embraced him like that, he had a feeling like the world could fall down and he would be save nevertheless. What Benji didn't await was the deep kiss, that followed just seconds after. Totally boneless he sank into Ethan's arms and returned the kiss.

In the distance they heard Brandt. “Could you please save that for later. We have a job to do!” Immediately Benji got red in the face. He totally had forgotten about Brandt and Luther. Ethan parted from Benji for a moment. “I couldn't resist. Is one kiss too much to ask for?” “He's just jealous because we don't let him participate.” “I heard that Dunn!” “Call me by my first name already!”

Ethan embraced Benji again only tighter if that was possible. Benji didn't want to let go either. They were together and it was a horrible night. After a few minutes more Brandt came again. “What is it with you 2. Should we get you a room?” “Yes, a room Is perfect!” Ethan mumbled. “I want one with a real big whirlpool!” added Benji.

Brandt shook his head and returned to Luther. “They're hopeless...”

~*~

They got their room and it really had a whirlpool. Brandt and Luther got Lane were he belonged and Benji was finally alone with Ethan. The schoolgirl within him was back and totally out of control. They shared a hotel room. Just the 2 of them. What would happen? What should happen?

Benji shook his head and let himself fall onto the soft bed. Never had it felt this good to lie on a mattress. Ethan came to him and looked him in the eye. “Benjamin?” Benji looked confused for a moment, than he answered. “Oh come on Ethan, just call me Benji, ok?” “No, I mean it. Please!” “What?” “Benjamin, I really love you and I am truly sorry for the things that happened. It was my fault.” As he said this, he took Benji's hands. “Ok, ok. I get it. I forgive you. But stop calling me Benjamin. That really makes me feel old! Or should I start calling you Matthew?” Benji raised an eyebrow and looked at an real confused Ethan. “Were did you....forget it...” 

There weren't many people who knew Ethan had a middle name. But if someone knew, it would be Benji. “You can call me whatever you want.” “Ok, then I call you raccoon. I think it suits you.” “You will not get away with that!” He pulled Benji in a passionate kiss and slid his hands under Benji's shirt. The technician enjoyed the kiss, but Ethan's hands on his skin, that was new. Ethan stopped the kiss for a moment and peeled Benji out of his shirt. “You don't need that tonight!” Before Benji could answer back, Ethan was kissing him again. His hands on both of Benji's side's.

Tonight he wasn't a schoolgirl anymore, he was finally a man. He wanted Ethan, all of him. It was almost to easy, to get Ethan out of his clothes. It took them just a few minutes before they both were naked. One exploring the body of the other, followed by many kisses and warmth. As Ethan's hand's found there way to Benji's erection he stopped a moment and looked in Benji's eyes. “Is that ok?” “Stop asking stupid questions! Of course!”

Ethan began to stroke over the erection and finally laid his fingers around it. Benji began a gentle moan and Ethan listened to his soft and beautiful voice. He loved that voice, now even more. His lover laid back into the pillows and gave him full control. Ethan didn't believe that Benji would enjoy it so much at the first time, but it encouraged him to go further. After he spoiled him for several minutes, he led his fingers slide down a little deeper and pushed softly against Benji's entrance. 

Benji looked at him with blurred eyes. “Hey, you're fast. It's my first time with a man, you know!” Ethan looked a little hurt. The technician sat up and pulled Ethan with him. Then he sat at Ethan's lab and put his hands on his sides. “Just be gentle, ok?” Benji kissed him again and Ethan's hands wandered deeper. He felt his fingers again at his entrance, but this time they felt wet. It seemed, he had remembered him at a necessary detail. With a soft push, Ethan led the first finger slide in, as Benji moaned again. “That feels nice.” He whispered in Ethans ear.

After the short pause, Benji found his way back to Ethan's lips. This time he let his tongue slide into Ethan's mouth as to say it was ok. He felt Ethan's finger right inside of him, with slight movements. It took Ethan not long to let a second finger follow. Benji enjoyed the moment. He enjoyed all the attention he got from Ethan right now. He was his, only belonged to him this night. He let Ethan tease him, play with him until he felt very comfortable. “Wanna try it?” Benji asked. “Are you feeling ready?” “Ready all the time, I will stop you if it's too much!”

Ethan kissed him again and pulled his fingers out of him. Then Benji could feel Ethan's erection against him, slowly pushing. He tried to relax himself and could feel every inch of Ethan as he slowly got in. A deep moan reached Ethan's ear as Benji interrupted the kiss again. For a moment they both held still. Everything around them was quiet and they just listened at each others breaths.

Finally Benji was the one to move first. He lifted his hips and let them slowly sink back. Ethan followed his movements and they fell in sync. The heat, the lust, the vicinity, all of that was what Benji wanted. Ethan as near as he can get. He loved that feeling and hoped it would never stop, but in no time, it seemed, he was overwhelmed by his orgasm. Ethan took another few thrusts before he also came.

Exhausted they sank against each other. Heavy breathing and soft embracing. Ethan was playing with Benji's messed up hair. He loved that messed up look of him. Quite relaxed and sticky from sweat as himself. “Feeling good?” Ethan asked. “Oh yes! But could you please pull him out? It really gets uncomfortable.” Benji answered a little bit whiny. Ethan did as he was asked and let himself with Benji in his arms fall to the bed.

“Can we please do that again?” “Anytime you want.” “Right, anytime again. In the middle of a mission, were you try to drown yourself, to save my life.” Benji chuckled. “That's not funny. What are you talking about?” “Of course it's funny. Or should I cry over it?” Ethan doesn't understand. But he really didn't remember how he got out of the water, if he was straight.

“It's ok Ethan. As long as I can have more of this moments, everything is fine.” “I won't stop giving you those moments, I promise.” “I love you, Ethan Hunt.” “I love you too, Benjamin Dunn.” “Stop calling me that already!” Benji went red again. But instead of saying another word, he snuggled at Ethan and was getting really tired. Right before he fell asleep he heard Ethan's words. “I love you too, Benji.” He smiled and dozed off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was the last chapter. It is a little bit longer for all of you who have waited so long for it!  
>  I hope you enjoyed this fanfiction as much as I when writing.  
> I was thinking of starting a new series with Benji and Ethan if someone is interested.  
> But for now I leave you with this little story!


End file.
